How to Ask for More Money Without Being Offensive

Robin shares ideas for how to ask for a raise effectively without coming across as being offensive. The concepts apply to employee and managers! For managers, it is particularly important to be aware of why the employee struggles with this situation, so you can handle it more effectively from you end as well.

This question came to me from an employee and I thought it was one that lots of people struggle with. In this video, I’ll share ideas for how to ask for a raise effectively without coming across as being offensive. The concepts apply to employee and managers! For managers, it is particularly important to be aware of why the employee struggles with this situation, so you can handle it more effectively from you end as well.

Two Ways to Broach the Subject of a Raise

Let’s talk about two ways to appropriately broach the subject of asking for a raise – or anything that you feel will be met with objections or obstacles. How you move forward is very dependent on the quality of your existing relationship. If your manager sees you as generally helpful and competent, it’s unlikely that they will see your request as obnoxious or offensive.  However, if their impression of you is that you are always needy, demanding, and unrealistic, then that’s another story! You should reflect on the quality of your existing relationship to understand how best to proceed. If you feel you have work to do there, act to build a more trusting, stable relationship. Even small steps will go a long way.

Think in Terms of Broader Context

Second, initiate the conversation in a broader context. In the scenario of asking for a pay increase, widen the scope. Define the subject as career development and/or growth as opposed to wanting more money. Share what is important to you for your career opportunities (for example, challenging assignments, new skills). But don’t do all the talking. Asks lots of good questions that illustrate your desire to learn the bigger picture. How is the company doing financially? What options exist for career mobility? Does my compensation fall within guidelines established for all employees? Are there any areas for increases and if so, what can you to help that? Look for places where you two can work together and compromise on any potential areas. When you show you care about her situation and what constraints she is working with, it’s hard for your manager to see you as offensive.

Be Realistic 

Have realistic expectations for the outcome. Your initial outreach is probably more of an exploratory conversation, where you are planting seeds of ideas, rather than walking away with a huge bonus or increase. Appreciate the process and it will reward you in the end. Remember this Is highly dependent on the quality of your relationship.

Advice for Managers

My advice to managers: be proactive about salary discussions! Even if employees aren’t asking you direct questions, they are thinking them! You can’t pretend that an employee won’t notice that’s been 18 or 24 months since the last increase. They are completely aware of the timing. You should set aside time and explain the rationale behind any salary decisions, especially if the pay is not changing. When you address this openly and honestly, you will build trusting relationship and the conversations get easier for both parties.

If an employee comes to you with questions about salary, recognize that it is likely for them, and it might signal that you haven’t been proactive enough. Don’t assume they are being greedy; they are looking out for their best interests, as they should. Your job is to help them see the big picture, if they haven’t already.

Respectful Relationships Lead to Productive Conversations

Whether you are an employee or a manager, your best chances of a productive conversation start when you have a respectful relationship as a foundation. Build on that with more open dialogue; talk about the needs and constraints you have and do what you can to compromise so both parties feel the resolution is fair. Keeping this tips in mind, I am confident you will not effective.

Be sure to check out more videos in the Learning Resource Center, available to you as a member. Here’s to your Graceful Leadership!